Things I wish I knew...

Hopefully you’ve found this post shortly after reading my birth story as it’s probably far more useful than me just babbling about pushing a baby out like a salmon! (If you don’t get this reference maybe read the birth story first)

When I first found out I was pregnant I was far too keen to listen to everybody’s birth stories, but I quickly realised very few of them are positive and it seemed like people just wanted to put the fear of god into you!! The general consensus seemed to be that birth is the most painful thing you’ll ever experience, but worth it. Because of this, I started investigating hypnobirthing (post coming soon) and found this massively helped and prepared me for the birth I wanted and eventually had.

However, there are some things that even the hypnobirthing community doesn’t prepare you for. Some practical bits, some less practical and more horror movie style … so here it is … no holes barred (literally... due to the nature of birth!)

• Hair bobbles - these little buggers just seem to disappear constantly and let’s be honest, no-one likes having hair in their face at the best of times, least of all when you have a small humans head coming out between your legs! Take extra, keep them on your wrist, your husband’s wrist and anywhere else you can think of.

• Headphones - I was using an app called Freya which times contractions but also gives positive affirmations. Whilst at home and once into the delivery room I had my phone on loud but in the car and on arrival at the hospital the headphones were invaluable as they really helped me ignore all the shit going on around me.

• Gas and Air - I was worried about using this having never vaped/smoked before (this sounds so lame). Inhalation of anything other than fresh air wasn’t something I felt confident with and due to hypnobirthing I was so focused on my breathing, that when I was offered it I just couldn’t figure it out. The midwife was great at talking me through it - initially, just having something to bite down on during contractions was really helpful. Then I realised that I could get a small ‘high’ from inhaling strongly towards the end of the contraction, meaning the down time in-between contractions was far more relaxing. This may or may not be the best use of gas and air (but neither was sharing it with my husband!) but it worked for me.

• Here comes the horror movie bit - blood loss! A short time after baby was born, I was helped out of the birthing pool onto a comfy bed for hubby to cut the cord and to begin skin to skin. As I stood up, the blood gushed! I couldn’t believe how much blood there was in the pool, across the floor and up on to the bed. It genuinely looked like someone had dragged some sort of human sacrifice across the room. I think the midwife could see both our concern but reassured us that it was completely normal, and it looked worse because of the water from the pool. We had one hour of amazing skin to skin and feeding, then I was taken for stitches due to a second degree tear. On returning to the room it was spotless! I couldn’t believe how wonderful and inviting the room looked again. I need to get me some of those hospital cleaners for home! So the horror movie experience was bad, but ended pretty quickly.

• Stitches - makes me cross my legs just writing this… in all honesty, a lot more challenging than I imagined. Not necessarily from a pain point of view as you’re numbed, however the sensation is just like nothing you can (or would choose) to imagine. I think it’s also difficult because your brand new baby is no longer in your arms. Luckily, hubby was able to come with me to have the stitches and was carrying baby in his arms but he said he found it tough too. It was the first time he’d ever held a new born and he was just watching me suffer all over again. Going back on the gas and air helped some way, just having something to bite down on, but the ordeal was over as quick as it started to be fair and soon forgotten!

• The first shower - WOW. Amazing, emotional, strange, empty, everything. The best feeling in the world and the weirdest. I remember being stood in this shower room with the hot water running over my hair and shoulders and just watching it run across my stomach - it was relief, relaxation and realisation… my little belly was empty! It almost took me until this point (approx. 3 hours after she was born) to realise what had just happened and I suddenly felt completely overwhelmed and helpless. I knew nothing about newborns… what the hell do I do now!!!

• Moving to the ward - this bit was very strange. Throughout labour and delivery you feel like it’s just you, your hubby and your baby and the whole world is revolving around you. Then you move to the ward… and you quickly realise a ton of other women also pushed a little human out of them around the same time! Suddenly your wonderfully heroic and incredible experience is shattered by everybody else’s experience - you aren't unique anymore, the bubble seems to burst. I found this really difficult and wanted to leave hospital as soon as possible to recreate my bubble at home, but was encouraged to stay as baby’s latch wasn’t great in the early days. This was one of the hardest parts for me. It was also incredibly emotional - I was half expecting to be overly emotional at this point, but I think it was only 48 hours after birth that I found myself sat inside my curtained cocoon with this tiny human next to me, wholly reliant on me for survival… and I sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. For absolutely no real reason other than I felt I needed to. And that is OK.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of what to expect when you're expecting. However, I would have certainly felt more prepared knowing these things in advance. I hope they help you too.

Please comment below if you have any questions or your own similar birth experiences.